My Pro-Piracy Proposal.

I'm pretty sure there's only two sides to this argument.  There's people that pirate shit and people that don't.  You can't argue against piracy if you pirate things.  You can't argue against not pirating things if you do pirate things. That'd make you a hypocrite.  Nobody's a hypocrite, right?

RIGHT!?

Back in the day when I was a spoiled little asshole, I got any game I wanted because in my mind my mother only said no when she wanted to be a bitch.  I didn't understand that people worked for their shit and that my mom was a single parent and is probably in debt right now solely because of me.  But that's another story for another time.  In any case, between getting most anything I wanted and pirating games being virtually impossible on my 56k, not to mention torrenting not existing and the only place I knew of to find things like that were shady "warez" sites that gave my computer some disastrous virus half the time, I didn't pirate games.

As the financial situation became more clear and I stopped being such a little prick, I started asking for less and started receiving less.  By the time I was about 16 or 17 the only way I was going to be able to experience a game was a demo, a rental, or to choose it out of a hundred other games twice a year or so.  Being obsessed with games and, more recently, music, my appetite could simply not be sated in this way.  Luckily, Napster came out around that time so that took care of the music, and eventually faster connections, torrenting, and non-shitty websites became available.

So much porn that isn't 15 second clips...

I started to absorb like a sponge that had been in the desert for a week the sea of material I had been missing out on because I could not afford to buy it all.  Instead of having to rely on the shitty radio or blowing ten bucks to find out I don't like an album, I was able to find my current favorite Artist and expand from only listening to main-stream hip-hop like Sisqo's Thong Song.  I began to catch up on classic games like Chrono Trigger and Xenogears that I'd never got to play as a kid which are hard to find locally and super expensive new.  I'd begun to experience more modern titles than ever before.  I was, and am, in a beautiful swirling vortex of almost anything ever created.  If it's ever been recorded under a major record label, there's a 99% chance it's on the internet.  Same with major game publishers.

Now there isn't just one type of pirate.  There're the people who could afford and would have bought the game, but there is piracy as a free, convenient, and easy alternative so they don't.  Why spend $60 when you could spend $0?  Then there's people who don't have it easy.  Economy the way it is right now, it's understandable people want to save as much as they can. 

 Entertainment takes low priority under food, bills, and other necessities.  However, we still crave entertainment.  Piracy has become somewhat of a crutch in some instances.  If Dave paid the $60 for those five games, he wouldn't have the $300 he needed for his car insurance this month.  Sure, he probably could have saved that money another way, but he obviously prioritized in such a way that the other thing was more important than games and therefore decided he would either have to go without the games or pirate them.  

People in the Carribbean islands who pirate my movies a hilariously ironic bastards!

The only other alternative is to slow down your purchasing  and save money so that you can afford more games, but in this situation, you're still going to be missing out.  So you can do what I do and buy games that you absolutely love, or for the multiplayer, or when they go on sale.  I think a major reason people are losing money is over blind purchases.  That sucks for their pockets, but speaking as a consumer, it is an eliminated evil.  You tricked me with your pretty game footage and box art in the past.  Me and millions of others.  Now I can know if your game sucks without having to pay you.  I could probably list ten games right now off the top of my head I have played that I am extremely grateful I did not actually purchase.  I won't, because I'm a pussy, but the fact remains.

At the same time, I think the negative mentality is creeping up as younger people are starting to get introduced to piracy earlier that you can just pirate games and never have to worry about buying any of them.  Buying seems silly to these people.  It doesn't affect them so why do they care?  Well, if everyone thinks that way, it will affect them.  You gotta' buy SOMETHING.  It's the same reason we can't be mad at the anti-pirates.  They are the biggest contributors to the companies that make the games we enjoy.  They also see pirates as leaches who contribute nothing.  But I feel as long as you eventually buy the games you actually really enjoy, at least some of them, as many as you can actually viably afford, then what's the big fucking deal?

NO IT DOESN'T ASSHOLES.

Reddit has seeming become more active against piracy.  A big post on the front page today was how pirates are scumbags for The Wticher 2 being the most pirated game since release because it's got free DLC and a "fair international price," and some other bullshit.  One of the posts, a guy said "just because you can't afford something doesn't mean you are justified in having it for free.  Ever."  If your children are starving, better to let them starve than steal food for them.  That wouldn't be justifiable.  Granted that's an extreme instance vs piracy? Why do people hate piracy so much.

Is it truly doing irreparable damage to the gaming industries? Nope.  Grand Theft Auto IV had a budget of a hundred fucking million dollars.  For scale of reference, the first Matrix movie had a budget of just 65 million.  GTA IV also sold over 20 million copies.  The point is, people are still buying games.  Lots and lots of games.  The Witcher 2, the game talked about in the aforementioned Reddit topic, sold 400k in their first week.  As a PC exclusive title.  With a less than 10 million dollar budget.  Which is soon to be ported to consoles.

Pictured above: how to sell videogames.

So if we can agree that shit is still selling, then why is everyone actually angry?  I think it's because they feel like they're doing the right thing by actually paying for what they own.  That's what society and the law tells us, and it's probably not wrong to think that.  They look at people who don't pay for things that they do and feel like they are being ripped off by pirates who don't earn what they play, they just take it.  Again, this isn't always the case.  Most of us aren't spiteful beings of malcontent who just take things because we can.  We take things because we can't afford the other option.  And we're not going anywhere, so get the fuck over it.

Rebbeca Black

Wait!  Before you rush away, dismissing this post as propagating the auditory virus that is Rebecca Black's Friday just take a moment to read a bit first.  This thing exists, you have to acknowledge it.  You have to learn to cope with it.  It's part of our society now.  There is no cure.  It, too, shall pass.  But, until it does, we might as well discuss it.

So this junior high girl Rebecca Black moseyed her way into now infamous Los Angeles's very own ARK Music Factory and expressed her interest in laying down a few tracks.  The gentlemen there, no doubt being extreme experts in what a good artist makes, agreed with the gentle persuasion of Mommy and Daddy Black's money.

Unfortunately, this is not Daddy Black.

Then, she recorded a music video.  Now, this could have all ended right there.  It may have spread around a bit here and there by passers-by, but it wouldn't have gotten very out of control.  That, as we all know, did not happen.  Some tosh guy saw her video and was all like her she sucks and everyone who watched his stupid whatever he has agreed, and shit spread like wildfire.  Within a week, Becky had accumulated over 10,000,000 views.  That's more people than have seen anything I've ever done put together in my entire life.

Also not Daddy Black

So what's the big fucking deal, really?  Well, she does have an undeniably unpleasing voice.  The song is not very catchy.  Also, it's hard to really wrap your head around the fact that someone had to write those lyrics for her.  The most complicated principal of the lyrics is the fact that Thursday comes before Friday, and Saturday comes afterwards.  I'm dead fucking serious.  That's in the song.  Aside from her obnoxious voice, she's a wholly average singer.  So she doesn't write the music, she doesn't compose any of the instrumentation, she's not talented, and her voice is shit.  It is safe to assume that the video is more infamous than famous.

Case in point, searching "worst song ever" will actually bring up her song as the first result.  92% of people who saw the video hit the thumbs down button.  Is it really the worst song ever, though?  Well there are worse songs for certain reasons, but is the worst popular song?  It's hard to answer that objectively, but I think the answer is yes.  I think this song is historically important for being the worst song ever made  I honestly thought it was a parody or a joke when I first saw it. 

Does this bitch look like she jokes?

I'd rather listen to Nickelback or Kidz Bop or fucking...  The Wiggles than this song.  I really hate it.  I really, really hate it.  I could go on and on about what's wrong with it, but I really don't need to.  It's terrible.  When I knock Justin Beiber and those stupid Jonas Brothers, this is the real reason why.  This is the future they have created.  This is their spawn.  Rebecca Black's primary influence is Justin motherfucking God-damn Bieber.  This is what happens when your kids never get to hear The Beatles.  They grow up to be a blight.  Are you happy, Usher?  ARE YOU!?

We've got this 13 year old who does not know she has a bad voice because her parents either don't want to hurt her feelings, or they've got their stupid "oh my child is perfect" goggles on.  You did this to your child.  You made her hated.  If I had a 1 inch penis, I wouldn't opt to do pornography.  Why would you force your daughter's flawed, mangled voice to be exposed to millions of people?  Her song is irrelevant 6 days out of the week!?  What about when it's  Saturday through Thursday, bitch?  We can't blast your fucking song, can we?  It's Friday, Friday no actually it's not...  Why do you think you never hear "Party like it's 1999" anymore?  Because it isn't. 

You know what, I'm done with this bitch.  Blog post over.  I can't write an unbiased article or continue without going into a fit of rage.  I'm going to drink until I forget what day it is.  And if I come to and it's Friday, I'm going to shoot myself in the dick.

 

I Am Constantly Shocked By Human Stupidity

Y'know, I consider myself a pretty open fellow.  I try my very darnedest not to judge people based on what they believe or think.  There are times though, when people are just fucking stupid and need to be set straight.

The woman in the above article seems to think that those who have read this notorious Penny Arcade strip , their creators, and those who buy their merchandise are all a bunch of pro-rape fuck heads.  I guess if you aren't actively spending every moment of your life against something you're obviously for it.

This guy has laughed once or twice at a dead baby joke.  He obviously promotes murdering babies.

 Normal people who have no serious latent psychological issue are able to differentiate between fantasy and reality.  It is the same reason why there can be a "funny death" in a movie or slapstick comedy or comedians like George Carlin.  There is a reason why controversy can be funny without being taken seriously.  It's why South Park has been around so God damn long.

It goes without saying that rape or murder isn't actually funny.  However, anything can be funny if the setting in which you bring it up in, or the content with which you surround it, or the delivery you use to discuss it are ridiculous or hilarious in themselves.  A dickwolf?  That's pretty God-damn ridiculous.  Of course it would be fucked up if dickwolves were real creatures and there were prisoners in some isolated area actually being raped by them, but they fucking aren't.
 

Kajillions of men just like this are raped every day by cockdragons.  Please send your money today so you can save a life from anguish.

Just because I play Half-Life 2 for an hour doesn't mean I want go outside and start whaling on people with a crowbar.  That's probably got to do with the fact that I'm not insane.  I know that something can be fun or entertaining while being a horrible thing in reality, I've been gaming all my life.

I really actually pity people who take shit this seriously.  Life is too full of suffering and too damn short to not laugh at every chance we get, so please stop.

Jesus Christ, It Could Happen To Anyone

After watching a recent episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia I decided to google the term "dead tooth."  What I came upon was the following site.  If you're not one to go about clinking on links, it says that anyone can have a dead tooth for years and not even know it.  It then goes about saying that dead tooths "seriously endanger the owner's health."  It then goes on to seemingly threatening you by saying that the tooth is only about three inches from your brain as if the tooth is going to break off and migrate into your brain and infect it and kill you.

Picture - A mouthful of dead tooth about to rocket up into some dumb bitch's brain.

Scared for my life now, I decided to e-mail the head of this website to ask if they could make their article a little more professional and a little less making me feel like I could die at any moment.  I wrote:

" Please amend the article as it is the scariest thing I've ever read. Thank you."

The next day I received a return e-mail.  Oh good, they've come to their senses, I thought.  They're going to explain they didn't mean to worry anyone too much, and they'll rewrite the article as soon as possible.  Not so:

"It is true and we have seen at least four major infections the past two years.

One had to have immediate facial surgery to get to the
abscess because it was blocking his throat and breathing."


Jesus!  What the hell are we doing sitting around, laughing and giggling like nothing's wrong!  All of us are GOING TO DIE!  OH GOD!  Why isn't anyone doing anything!?  We're damned to hell!  All of us are going to be murdered by our own teeth!


I'm sorry.  I'm sorry.  I got a little out of control.   Four in 2 years?  That's hardly any.  There's nothing to worry about.  We're all perfectly fine.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

On Karen Owens and Casual Sex and Whatnot

Let me start this thing off by pointing something out.  Not every guy is a sex-hounding meat-headed moron who would sooner sleep with a girl than know her name.  Not every girl is a chastity belt wearing Christian with a promise ring.  This Karen Owens chick is your typical shallow college girl.  They rain in abundance upon those who won the genetic lottery and tower above us normal folk with rippling muscles and innate athleticism.  They just usually don't make a fucking Powerpoint about it.

They usually make an Excel spreadsheet.  Much more efficient.

It's interesting to see her justify her sexcapades as "research" and see what goes through one of these peoples' minds when they do what they do when they do it, and it's "controversial" because it's a female and because it was "leaked."  It isn't really, however, anything remarkable.  Some girl had sex with a bunch of blokes and wrote it down for her friends so they could all giggle about how some guys had big or small pee-pees and how some had omg such hot bodz and so-on.  The powerpoint is so unique and nothing like it has ever been done.

Meanwhile, on every 16 year old girl's AOL Instant Messenger ever...

It was well written (for I have indeed read it) and unsurprisingly so due to the fact that she does go to Duke, a rather good school.  Also goes to show that no matter how good of a school you go to or how good your grades are, it doesn't mean you're not dumb.  (Though she probably did leak it on purpose).

There is positive in this, folks.  It goes towards equalizing the sexes.  Now we just need some guy to write a powerpoint on how he went on dates with girls seeking true love, rating them based on aspects of their personality instead of the size of their tits.  Well wait, nobody would read that...

But just in case.

I suppose it is a bit refreshingly honest, and a change of pace from all the sappy romance we're spoon-fed.  However, I'm a romantic.  I would much rather sleep with a girl I am actually emotionally invested in than bang some hottie.  Hottie-banging has proven to have limited appeal, while the merits of "making love" as it were, are milestone memories.  Sex should only really come after a night of listening to a woman talk for hours, a light recitation of one of my favorite poems complete with a single tear, and only if it so happens to come about after hours of nonsexual cuddling.  (I'm single, ladies.)

I'm Going Public Today

I've been slowly constructing this blog behind the scenes until I had a decent number of posts here, and I've reached that point.  I'll be posting the link on my facebook, twitter, and a few other places.  I do not expect a large influx of visitors or comments, but I'm hoping for a nice round number like "1."  That seems like a good launching point.  Those 1 peoples will tell another 1 peoples...  Pretty soon we'll have 2 peoples running around the blog, posting comments without a care in the world.  Except for the blog.  They'll care about the blog.

These two diehard fans will demand t-shirts, to which I will at first deny but ultimately become unable to fend off any longer.  At this point I should have at least 3 fans and be generating significant revenue as they click madly through the site.  Google will be unable to keep up with the enormous amount of traffic and will be so impressed that they will have to make me CEO.

As CEO of Google, I'll make all google links point to my blog.  Since everyone uses Google, at this point I'll pretty much own the internet.  With all the trillions of dollars I'll get from becoming the internet king, I'll buy all the countries and eventually buy space.  I'll pour all the resources into space travel and many will starve but within 20 years we'll be flying spaceships so who cares.

This is just a rough projection of how the launch of the blog will go, though... We'll have to see.

How about another opinionated blog?

Why are people so insistent on changing others beliefs?  This is not the first or last time I will say this: learning to accept and respect other's beliefs is a large part of living a happy life.  Sure, you could go through life attempting to "talk some sense" into all these poor misguided fools, but that is a life of stress and anger and hatred and sorrow.  Don't you want to be happy?  Why not just let everyone belief what they'd like, so long as it isn't doing them harm?  That way you don't have to spend your precious time trying to convince someone to believe what you believe, and they don't have to put up with your stupidity.

We've come a long way, really.  There was a time where if you didn't believe what everyone else believed you'd be thrown off a cliff.  Now we have so much freedom that we're allowed to believe pretty much anything without fear of mortal retribution.  That's definitely a plus.  You really don't have to put too much effort to make something more appealing than death, though.

Especially if it's cake!

There are still religious fanatics and terrorist who yearn for the golden days when you'd get a noose around your neck for suggesting everyone wear blue jeans on Friday,  but for the most part I think we're passed that. That doesn't make all this constant bickering and screaming and spitting and cursing any less obnoxious, on either side.I don't care if you think Obama is the bastard spawn of Satan who's come to bring damnation to God fearing Christians and is also a terrorist and a robot extra-terrestrial all in one.  You can even organize a church right next to my house and preach about it, just don't call me a moron for not agreeing with you and shout everything you believe to be fact hoping to get me to see it your way.

He's not fooling anyone.

I am an agnostic.  I believe it is impossible to prove the existence of or nonexistence of a God.  When I hold open the door for some old lady and she says something like "God bless you deary" I don't slam the door in her face and scream "GOD? WHAT GOD? BRING HIM TO ME!"  I smile and nod and say "you're welcome."  I don't go stirrin' up trouble.  I'm an incognito agnostic.  Much less badass than it sounds.  I avoid religious confrontation, but I'll tell you what I am if you ask.

I don't spend hours of my day on youtube or forums trying to convince everyone that everything they think they know is wrong, because--as an agnostic-- who am I to say?  You could all be right.  You could all be wrong.  Agnostics get a bad rap, but I think we're much less confrontational than the big religions.  And probably, like most other people, I didn't choose my belief it just sort of happened.  A Christian hears the story of Jesus and he soaks it up and he carries it through his life happily, never questioning it from there on out.  An atheist has a defining moment where he simply stops believing in the possibility of a deity.

We aren't born with our beliefs, but they aren't just ideas.  They aren't just practices or thoughts.  They are sewn deep into our brains like fixtures, holding up the ideas and thoughts that we come to hold later.  You think a rant's going to lay waste to that foundation?  It isn't.  People don't want to ruin their stability.  They don't want to change their beliefs.  They are happy with them.  Why would you want to take away someone's happiness and replace it with your own?

Stop being selfish, be more accepting, and perhaps the world will end up slightly better.

Green Tea, No Sugar

Nearly 3 million out of 4.5 million people in South Carolina are obese.  So it is not surprising, then, that I happen to be one of them.  It's easy to get fat, and hard to get rid of it.  It all started when I got a computer back in '99.

Cue harp music and blurry filter.

Insisting to my mother that we were being left behind, we finally got one of the bastards.  I can still hear the music of the dial-up modem as I connected to the local ISP.  Around that time I was still an athlete.  A football player for the city's peewee league.  Until the Lucifer manifest entered our home and began to suck my soul from my body for the next decade.

When you're a football player and a kid, you can eat junk food and your metabolism and exercise will take care of it.  When you sit on your ass for ten years, though, your body doesn't accept a diet of Pepsi and Fruit by the Foot very well.  By the time I started noticed I was putting on a few pounds, I had already found my first MMO.  A game that I would play religiously every day for years and for hours on end.  A game called Nexus TK.

You ruined my life you sultry whore.

My fate was sealed.  I was hooked into an alternate, better life.  One with magic, war, and 2D anime-inspired Korean art.  I was already big into video games, and now I had a whole new platform with access to brand new genres.  Every Diablo 2 and Starcraft was a nail in the coffin for my health.  Well into high-school and then into college, still on the computer 90% of the time because I had already built that habit.  It's what I'd do.  Not just a spare hour or two or three on the computer, but all of my free time.

Even today I try to ween myself away from the seductive promise of infinite information.  Even when I convince myself to get out of the damned chair, there will be something I want to learn or need to do which is actually productive that requires the internet.  The software I use to study Japanese is on my computer.  The collection of information I have for diet and exercise is on the computer.  If I need to contact someone and I can't call them, computer.

"Umm...  I think I got The Virus..."

With all the shit that requires a computer today, it is nonsense to ask someone to just not get online.  Once you're online for a little while, however, you're enticed to stay a little more.  Then you grab a snack which you eat entirely without becoming full because you weren't paying a-goddamn-tention. Then the entire day is gone, just because you wanted to look up a song or two.

Coupled with the fact that the system America has in place with its food where everything is packed with fat and high fructose corn syrup, losing weight is a big damn challenge.  It requires you to become aware of everything you do and eat, accept that they are wrong, and try to force yourself to change.

It is hard enough to break a habit.  To change your lifestyle is probably one of the biggest challenges anyone will face in their life.  My taste buds have been trained for years to recognize that real sugar is not as sweet as high fructose corn syrup and therefore things without HFC aren't as good, or are even disgusting.  The brilliant scientists who pump out all the shit that the leading manufactures ship out for consumers have trained us to become fat and complacent and unsatisfied with anything else.  In order to truly become healthier you have to want it so bad that you even break out of what is practically a drug addiction, make yourself suffer through physical labor you have long since neglected, and stuff food down that you perceive currently as disgusting.

WTF?  This isn't steak with butter, salt, cream cheese and cake frosting.

So no, it isn't as easy as just "putting the fork down."  I eat less than is required to maintain my weight, but my weight is maintained and even grows because I lose my will, or there isn't anything healthy in the house, or the biggest reason probably: I'm still pretty God damn sedentary.  I just bought some dumbbells, though, and I've started working out daily.

I'm sick of this shit.  It's gotta' change.

I prefer ADMIRAL Obvious, Thank You

This recession thing sucks.

I applied to roughly 30 jobs in Austin, TX.  If any of them replied it was to say that they weren't going to hire me.  Part of it might have been that I did still list my state of residence as SC, but still...  Not one out of 30 jobs that I am qualified for would take me?  What are the statistics for that?  Are you really that picky, Lowes, that I'm not good enough for you?

Elitist prick.

I live in a town that is almost musically dead.  Out of the three or four bars here, the only bands that play there are thirty and up and play mostly Lynyrd Skynyrd covers.  There is almost no chance of finding another person who can actually play an instrument who fits into my particular musical niche, much less several people.  Thus why I set my eyes on Austin, the self-proclaimed music capital of the world.

It is much closer and less expensive than New York or Los Angeles, and being broke, that means I actually have a chance of moving there soon-ish.  And the less time I spend in this town the better.  For God's sakes one of the year's biggest events is called The Lobster Race.  Google that shit, my town is number one.

Trillions of citizens gather because there wasn't shit else to do.

How many other people are having it worse than me?  At least I have parents who are willing to carry my sorry ass until I find something, but what about the people who have families to support and can't get a God damn job?  Well, that's bullshit.  My condolences to all of you who have it worse off than I do.

PS,
Somebody fucking hire me.

I Review the Wii

You've had this a long time coming you bastard.

Before I get started here, let me clear something up.  My problem is solely with the console itself.  There are some genuinely fun games out for the Wii that, if they weren't on the Wii, would more than likely be genuinely funner.  Also, yeah I said I'm not a gamer anymore and then I go and do two blogs about games (three if you count Onlive) in rapid succession.  This will not be the last.  It's just that this is one thing I've wanted to get off of my chest for a while now.

In what seems like thousands of years ago, I can remember the excitement about the Wii (back then referred to as Revolution and changed because of pronunciation issues or something).  From what I, and millions of others were led to believe, this thing was going to be amazing.  Everyone who ever played a game probably had the desire at one point or another to be able to wield a sword and have the game match his movements precisely.  The Wii looked like it might be able to do something like that.  What's more is that one of the first games promising to do this was the new Legend of Zelda game.

In the old promotional commercials they would show a video of link swinging his sword followed by some Crest White-strips model guffawing while he acted out the swinging of Link's sword.  This led one to believe that moving the device that came with the Wii would result in your character doing the same thing.  My reaction at the time was something along the lines of "Holy fuck holy fuck holy fucking fucking fuck fuck," plus or minus a fuck or two.

I was a Gamestop Employee when the system came out, so my console was secured ahead of time and I picked it up on the release date along with a copy of Twilight Princess.  On a whole I enjoyed the game, but I did notice something was amiss with my preconceptions.  The swordplay wasn't like I had imagined.  To attack you jiggled the Wiimote.  Jiggling?  That's not what you do with a sword.  Is it?

Doing it wrong?

In any case, I was able to forgive it.  Twilight Princess was supposed to be a Gamecube game anyways.  The Wii stuff was developed at the last minute to help with the launch.  The newer Wii games would be better with the motion controls, I was certain.

Or not.

I quickly began to realize the motion controls were not what I thought they would be -- or what Nintendo said they would be.  I begrudgingly accepted this fact for a while, until I noticed there were other problems with the Wii.  It was already known that the Wii was the least powerful system in terms of graphics out of the three current generation consoles.  It wasn't, however, until one particular game that the graphical limitations of the Wii really hit me.  It was a game that promised a continuation upon beautiful nostalgia -- the newest NiGHTS game.

I have never been one to complain about graphics.  In terms of importance to me as far as a video game, graphics do not make the top 3.  However, I do notice what I determine to be both beautiful and horrible graphics.  I was not prepared for what NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams was about to throw at me.

Look at that.  That's not grass.  Grass has texture.  That's just green-ground.  It was hard for me to find many screen shots of the walking-around portion of the game to try and point out just how bad they were, probably because people didn't want to remember that part of their life.  I can MS Paint my way through better grass than that.  After being tired of dealing the the nausea-inducing graphics and dealing with the terrible controls, I put the game down and never picked it up again.

I'm not even going to talk about Red Steel.  That was also one of the first games I played for the Wii.  I could have spent those moments of my life playing better games, but they're gone forever.  After realizing the only good games that were going to be out on the Wii for a while were Smash Bros and Zelda, I hocked it.  I used to money to buy something that wasn't Wii and went on to start building my gaming PC.

Fast-forward to present day now and the Wii actually has a decent library backing it.  Of course, it also added to my ire with shit like Wii Fit and...  Stuff.  Around which time I realized that the Wii wasn't designed for a person who was truly interested in games an expression of art, depth, and lasting entertainment.  It was designed to make all the people who thought video games were for complete nerds and violent children.  It was for kids who didn't yet give a crap about graphics and their parents who wouldn't be bogged down by problems like buttons.

Warning: Do not use Kinect if you are prone to seizures, because people won't know if you're having one or just playing the game.

It can be said that Nintendo sold out, but Nintendo is a business.  Nintendo is designed to sell as much out as they could.  They care about their fans only to the extent that their fans are loyal customers.  If they could make a profit by selling you to yourself in some sort of insane circular prostitution and maintain their image as a family-friendly video game company they would be all over that shit.  Nintendo basically said let's make our video game console cheap and like a fancy toy and kids and parents loved it.

Factor in all the die-hard Nintendo fans who feel Nintendo can never do any wrong ever with all the new customers Nintendo made by basically duping the rest of us and you get one of the best selling consoles of all time.  From a business strategy standpoint, Nintendo did everything right.  However, here is how I perceive the Wii.

Graphics - 4/10
You need only look at a tri-console release and compare to see how the Wii stands up next to the other consoles.  While there are some titles that don't look bad like Twilight Princess and No More Heroes, there are just as many NiGHTS and Call of Duties.  The Wii is not even a contender in the graphics department.

Controls - 5/10
Before the Wii Motion Plus, I'd have given this a 1 or 2.  The Wii Motion Plus makes the Wiimote do what they said it was supposed to do all along.  And while that still isn't quite enough, I'll give it a 5 for saying it's adequate.  You can play games with it, though most times more awkward than innovative.

Games - 8/10
Again, earlier in the Wii's release I would have given this probably a 4 or 5.  Now, there are probably ten or so Wii games I wouldn't mind owning.  It's the Wii part I would mind owning.

Other - 3/10
The online is garbage.  There's no CD/DVD playback.  The little avatar things are ugly.  The sensor bar doesn't want to work half the time.  The OS is a joke compared to the 360 or the PS3.  Aside from buying Wii Classics (which I cannot judge because it was before my time) there is no other function for the Wii aside from playing Wii games.  Meanwhile 360 and PS3 users can download demos, full games, and smaller titles right to the console.

In the end, the Wii sacrificed most of what someone who enjoys a video game looks for so that it could appeal to a new crowd.  It was successful in this aspect, but here's to hoping that the next console is a "real" console.

Weed Being Illegal = More Harm Than Good

An estimated $7,600,000,000 is spent on marijuana arrests annually.  I went ahead and typed that whole number out for you there you could see all those zeroes lined up nice and neat.  7.6 billion.  That's a lot of dollars.

Now I'm going to go ahead and get this out of the way.  I think a lot of laws are stupid.  Hell, a lot of laws are stupid, with very little to support their non stupidity.  Victimless crimes where nobody is being hurt physically, emotionally, financially or otherwise should rarely ever be considered crimes.  Laws are supposed to exist to protect the citizens, if I'm not mistaken.  When the laws themselves are doing much more harm than the crime, you'd think that would be time to stop and say, "what the shit?"

  



Marijuana prohibition is one such law.  As the years go by, the propaganda against marijuana is growing thinner and thinner.  More and more studies are being brought up showing that marijuana is not only not the dangerous drug it was originally though to be, but that the benefits may indeed heavily outweigh any of the potential side-effects.

Let's start off by taking a look at what some people are saying about marijuana.  Here's an excerpt taken from http://www.marijuana-addiction.net:  "Marijuana side effects can be as seemingly innocent as an increased appetite to as life threatening as lung cancer. Increased likelihood for accidents is also one of the marijuana side effects. Studies show that 6 to 11 percent of fatal accidents are contributed to by marijuana side effects. Other external marijuana side effects include legal problems, work and financial problems and troubles at home."

Honey?  Honey?  God damn it!  You've been doing the weeds again haven't you?

Well now, cancer!  That does sound pretty dangerous does it?  Well, it certainly would present a strong case against marijuana if it wasn't complete bullshit.  Marijuana has never been linked to lung cancer.  In fact, Marijuana has never been directly linked to any deaths at all during its thousands of years of use.  And the "studies show that 6-11% of fatal accidents are contributed to by marijuana" line?  Also bullshit.  6% of all deaths in total are a result of any accident of any kind.  This would mean that any time anyone falls, crashes, is caught in a fire, drowns, or anything else would have to have been high for that statement to be true.

Above: typical result of marijuana usage

As for the rest --Increased appetite, legal problems, work and financial problems, and troubles at home-- well those are all true depending on the circumstances.  The appetite bit is no problem.  I already talked about the legal issue, that's the whole point of my writing here.  As for work and financial problems?  Jobs forcing you to take drug tests for employment is something I'm against, but not hiring you because you have some weed in your system is about as dumb as one can get.  That problem can be completely avoided if you don't go to work high, and you don't smoke when you think you might be getting an interview.

"This is an interesting resume...  It says here you smoke weed every day?"

Problems at home...  What sort of problems are we talking here?  Problems at home makes me think of some guy beating his wife and children.  If anything weed would make the guy too lazy to beat them.  I suppose that's what we're concerned with.  Marijuana making you too lazy to be productive. Well guess what?  Over-indulging in pretty much anything in the world is going to have that side-effect.  For instance, I'm on the computer way too damn much and it's really putting a damper on my productivity.  Perhaps they should outlaw computers.

Or at least Windows Vista

Well, surely there's got to be some more arguments anti-weed guys can throw forth to justify the law against the drug.  How about...  Oh yeah, that gateway drug thing!  Smoking weed will eventually lead you to want to try more powerful drugs like mushrooms or acid or crack cocaine.  Well it turns out that most people think that's bullshit too (and when I say people here I mean scientists).

"Oh shit I forgot they were doing that photo shoot today and I'm still so high just play it cool man they can't tell..."

The only arguments against marijuana that appear to be true and relevant are arguments that are true against just about any drug.  Marijuana does indeed make you high.  Being high, you probably shouldn't go for a leisurely drive on the interstate with no seatbelt.  You probably shouldn't lay some new roofing down.  You probably won't feel like doing any of that shit because Spongebob just came on and that bastard is suddenly more funny than Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder's miracle science wonderbaby Richard Wilder.

Like anything that affects your mind, doing stupid shit while under the influence of it may end up in grievous bodily harm.  This is more of a support for legalizing it though, because if it was regulated, situations like this would be easier to keep in check.  It would severely cut down on people having to buy from shady dealers and potentially getting shot or stabbed or shot and then stabbed or whatever.  It would provide medical benefits to millions.  It would be taxable and would stimulate the fuck out of the economy.

It would also be nice to just be able to smoke a joint in public without having to worry about having my ass hauled to jail.

Plus then my back yard could totally look like this.

Upcoming Games I Actually Give a Crap About

The time of my life when I actually considered myself a "gamer" has come and gone.  I play games.  In this, you can say that I game, but I am still not a gamer.  Allow me to deviate into explanation a bit before I get to the actual blog.

Gamers are the people who spend most of their free time either playing, researching, or discussing video games. They are people who's expendable income goes straight into games, consoles, accessories, or gaming memorabilia.  They have a passion for all things gaming and receive a special sort of joy that one only receives when indulging in their passion.  I used to call myself one of their fold.

I don't remember the last time I've actually thoroughly enjoyed a game.  They've entertained me, sure, and on occasion enough so to even see them the whole way through.  Most of the time, however, they're only appealing to me for a very short time.  I play them in limited fragments of my day and then never touch them again.  They do not captivate or enthrall me the way they used to.  I can see them for their appeal and they can provide me with distraction, but our connection has been severed and there is no resonation between us.

That being said, there are a few titles that threaten to drag me back into what seems like a fantasy world I may have dreamed.  A Narnia that can be reached through a controller or keyboard and mouse only when it wants me to be in that world.  Unfortunately, the starving musician lifestyle does not permit me to own every current generation video game console.  I have, however, invested in a powerful computer.  Therefore, most of the games you'll see here will be PC games.


The Secret World

I have long since given up on MMORPGs.  I can no longer tolerate the dumbed down automated D20 system that most use for their combat.  I can no longer stand to look at another elf or dwarf without a sigh of boredom escaping me.  I hate grinding.  I hate the quests that make me question why I'm even doing it.  I hate the fact that actual roleplay is extremely hard to come by.   I vowed to give up on the genre until one with a true real time combat system emerged.

That is, until I found out about The Secret World.

Before any real information about the game was released, there were a slew of riddles and puzzles that the community would have to get together and solve.  The developers of the game would also take the role of members of a secret society and contact the players of the forums, giving them warnings, hints, etc.  By the time I had found out about TSW they had almost all been solved, but it was this interaction amongst the community and with the developers that caught my eye initially.  I knew something was different about this game.

The basic premise of the game takes all of the myths about secret societies and the supernatural and creates a world where all of it is very real.  The Illuminati, the Dragon, and The Templars (the three factions of the game) are the main powers of the world and you will be allying yourself with one and competing for control with the others.  Magic, zombies, sea creatures, all of it exists in a world that otherwise mirrors our own.  It is rare that an MMO take place in modern times with real locations.

Another exciting prospect for me is the fact that there are no levels or classes.  You progress in the game by simply continuously doing whatever it is that you enjoy doing.  There is also a linear, overarching plot to the game with many side-quests so that what you do actually means something, and you aren't just killing to kill.

I hate to get my hopes up about an MMO but I must say, the shroud of mystery and the promise of being very unique has piqued my interest.

Marvel vs Capcom 3 

Holy shit!  I didn't think it would actually happen, but it's happening.  Marvel vs Capcom 3.

I've always been a fighting game kind of guy.  There is nothing like it.  Combine instant, reflex-based action with strategy and memorization of moves and flashy finishers and you've got yourself a good time.  The only real problem with fighting games is that you don't get to enjoy them much if your friends don't play them with you.  But ever since I played Street Fighter II Turbo for SNES I've been hooked.

When I was little, X-Men vs Street Fighter was in the arcades.  It was so unlike anything other fighting game I was used to. Unfortunately I wouldn't really get to experience the series at home until it came out for Dreamcast.  MvC 2 remains one of my favorite games today, and with the addition of characters like Dante, Okami, and -squeak- Deadpool, I can't wait to get my hands on this one.  I've been putting off buying a gaming console for as long as I can, but this title is likely going to push me into getting one.


Diablo 3

This is it.  This is the big one for me.  I have been waiting so long.  So, so long for some hint of an inkling that a sequel would be coming out.  Periodically I would go back and play Diablo 2 and quit some time during the highest difficulty level and come back later and do it all again. Until one day, it was actually announced.

If you were never into the Diablo series then you probably don't care about the 3rd, but Diablo 2 is probably my 3rd highest played game of all time.  (Number 2 is a game called Nox and number1 is a regretable decade of my life called Nexus: The Kingdom of the Winds.)  However, you can only stand playing a game that only supports 800x600 for so long.  Diablo 2, in light of the current generation, looks absurdly dated.  The fact that it still plays like a dream is testament to just how good it is, but there ain't a game in the world that is immune to the effects of aging.

Diablo 2 runs in Direct X 1.  That was 11 Xs ago.  That's like it's not even X any more, it's just...  Direct.  I could probably run it on my phone.  In fact, I bet Diablo 2 will be released for iPhone when Diablo 3 comes out.  Not that I have an iPhone.  I have a Blackberry Pearl.  What was I talking about?

Diablo 3 is going to be a glorious return to form with more than 7 billion classes and potions and killing and shit.  I have to force myself actively not to think about this game so that I will not regret an existence without it.  When it is released, I can only hope I don't have a girlfriend at the time, because the poor bitch will never see me again.  I may just have to book myself into a hospital and have them feed me through a tube and clean me up so that I don't starve to death or be eventually found dead in my own filth.

So yeah it looks okay I guess.

Well those are my big three.  Below you'll find a list that do not fill me with the fire of desire (that looks more lame on the screen than it sounded in my head) that the above games do, but I am still interested in playing at one point or another.  I tried to put the games I am most interested in near the top.  The amount of interest kind stops at a certain level near the bottom, though.

Batman: Arkham City

The Last Guardian

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Portal 2

Little Big Planet 2

DC Universe Online

Donkey Kong Country Returns

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

NBA Jam

Mortal Kombat

Fable 3

Dead Space 2

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

From Dust
AC: Brotherhood

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Brink

Neverwinter

Torchlight 2

Trine 2

Sonic the Hedgehog 4